Relections on a Looming Anniversary, by Karen

As we’ve come full circle at almost one year since Jim’s accident, I find myself becoming very reflective.  I’ve been sifting and reading through an old journal which represents to me, another life ago.  I feel as if we’ve transcended one life to another one – successfully – right here in this earthly life.  Funny, I thought that phenomenon only occurred when going from living to dying. I suppose we all go through various transcendences throughout our lives that run the gamut from the seasons changing and how it affects us to experiencing a catastrophic life changing event like we did. We also simultaneously experienced the decline of someone so close, dear, and full of vitality that all of it – and I do mean all of it – doesn’t seem real. Sometimes it seems like it all happened so long ago.  There are various reasons for each experience on why I feel that way.

Did all of that really happen?

There has been a lot of forward movement, folks but just not at warp speed or when we want it to occur but together we’ve helped the momentum by our gumption; what we’ve learned, and continue to learn.  I’ve often laughed that I feel like Dr. House, M.D. and his medical team diagnosing the new interworkings of a human body with a spinal cord injury because I’ve gotten to know my husband’s body like my own and living with it for the first year is so new; like we charted waters that oftentimes would go from glassy calm to tidal waves until at long last we reached a stretch of dry land.  So long as we remain proactive and vigilant, we should remain there unless and until, we choose to take a dip into another body of water!

Giving up Facebook for Lent was something I thought would be very difficult because it became a way for me to update the larger audience of friends and family on our progress with our new life and Jim’s improvement.  I’m also nosy by nature and I liked catching up with people and their day-to-day stuff and stuff that makes them tick to include photos, too!  What I am finding though is that this time of “giving something up” especially something I’ve not only grown fond of but addicted to, has proven to be rather easy to do.  It’s perfect timing that since we’re coming upon one year since Jim’s accident that I don’t have any of the extraneous “noise” of the news feed to jumble this extremely important time for my psyche.

All of the unpredictable changes that occur leading up to and during Spring represent this reflection.  I keep listening out for this birdsong from a yet-to-arrive species that I recall when Jim was in Shock Trauma last Spring.  It was so mournful a song. I keep listening out for it because it may be a different tune to me this year.

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